It’s recently crossed my mind the need to articulate the writer’s life, the life of a creative. Julian F. Fleron was quoted —

“The creative adult is the child who has survived.”

The concept of retained childhood is pregnant with conversation. I would venture to state that the vast majority of, if not all, people pine for the simplicity and freedom of youth. Fears were no bigger than the imagination, insecurities were nonexistent, and no one had bills to pay for fuck’s sake.

The greatest responsibility charged was to venture forth wielding curiosity as a compass and create. Everyone beholden only to learning everything we didn’t know, as though all there is to learn could ever become smaller.

Somewhere between counting our age on one hand and grasping a diploma we shed the courage to pursue our fears.

No, I did not mean dreams.

I don’t stutter.

There is nothing more frightening than the pursuit of everything for which your heart cries. It’s an untold story complete with all top 10 fears of humanity:

  • loss of freedom
  • the unknown
  • pain
  • disappointment
  • misery
  • loneliness
  • ridicule
  • rejection
  • death
  • failure

(In case you didn’t notice: that’s just living life.)

If nature has shown any pattern of choice, it’s the path of least resistance. The story has been told billions upon billions of times over and the outcome, survival, is sufficient enough to sacrifice our childhood.

Enough with the games, that isn’t real life. 

Put away the paint, you can’t eat a picture. 

Swallow your words, you can’t sell thoughts. Not even for a penny.

We exchange wonder, curiosity, and creativity for a cubicle and weekends. But the creative…the writer…me, I’ve refused to relinquish my childhood.

And never have I been more terrified. I have no idea where I’ll be next week let alone answering the asinine question regarding my next five years. Fucking hell, no one knows and anyone who actually gives an answer is full of shit.

If you learn anything, learn to say “I don’t know” but have the courage to find out.

Then, each day you will rise and have the wisdom to say, “I don’t know what will happen today, but I want to.”

And just like that, wonder will filter back in, curiosity will claim all thoughts, and the mirror will be created in your image.

This is the life of the writer.

MEW 2019

Photo by Matthew Payne on Unsplash

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