This is the ninth installment of a ten part poetry/prose series I wrote a few months ago titled Hours. I wrote the series over the course of one night into the next morning as a project. Each individual part is titled according to the time at which I began writing the piece and makes for a kind of documentation of my thought process throughout the night. And after much editing, here it is.

3:58 AM

Fuck you, I’m not going back! You kept me prisoner in that skyless world for too long. I’m fucking done with all that shit. You stole my life, every minute laced with your foggy breath. No, it was not “fun.” Argue all you want about the constructiveness…

I don’t give a shit! There’s got to be a way to visit this place without you gripping the pencil too.

Fine…I’ll admit I fell in love with your ideas. They paved a road…to fucking hell!

The midnight plane was never enough for you. It had to be during my waking hours too. Everything phasing through my hands.

“Look, but don’t touch,” right? Fuck that! That’s not living, you bastard!

You know what? I didn’t fall in love with your ideas, I fell in love with this space. I forged partnerships with those I found here. Fear, Doubt, Anxiety – we work together. You’re destructive for the sake of destruction. You’re debilitating as you keep me paralyzed. Fuck off, Depression.


Photo by mwangi gatheca on Unsplash

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