If I’ve learned anything while in college,

It’s everything you tried teaching me.

Funny thing is

You’re a better teacher in absence.

Your words are like whispered screams

From beyond the past,

Intensely subtle

And impossible to ignore.

You’ve been the kitchen wall

I measure myself against on my birthday.

You’ve been both

A bag of developmental manure

And pruning sheers.

The sheer impact

Of your matchstick actions resonates

Beyond your now blurry face.

Your name

Has become the definition for “catalyst.”


You were the greatest lesson I ever learned.


I sometimes wonder

What you’d think of me now.

It still would never work.

Much has changed,

But some things will never be different.

I’m still too “slow” for you,

Still a hopeless romantic,

A bleeding heart,

An overly articulate mouth.


But I get it now.


I now understand

Sex speaks words where English has none;

That drunkenness is truer than sobriety;

That comedy is a way to cry in public.

I’ve come to understand the

Language of silence and screaming movement

Of which you were so fluent.

I’ve come to understand

What it means to trip through life

And not always fear the fall.


Photo by Yaoqi LAI on Unsplash

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